When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." Fool me once, shame on you. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
MAD MEN WHISKEY GLASSES CODE
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
MAD MEN WHISKEY GLASSES UPDATE
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear. Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down. (New!) Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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